Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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