Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
