They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm really busy with my period
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