so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
