I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
