there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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