i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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