so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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