Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
