if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
