I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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