Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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