piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
