grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize