What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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