She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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