she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
