well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
