Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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