Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
