So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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