Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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