i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
