totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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