why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
