i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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