she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
