We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
