we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
