i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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