I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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