Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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