its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
