if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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