Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
