There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize