your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
