i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Michael Bay diarrhea
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize