i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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