Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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