He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
