remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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