Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
