I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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