ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
