weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
