He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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