Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
