He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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