You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
