If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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