When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
