i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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