Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
