Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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