So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
