I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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