walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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