Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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