You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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