using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
