I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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