He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
