420 ftw
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
